Cracker-length, party-ready
63 Holiday Jokes for Kids (Christmas, Halloween and Thanksgiving)
Festive jokes for kids about Santa, snowmen, ghosts, pumpkins, and turkeys - short enough for a cracker or a party, and funny without being frightening.
What makes these jokes work
Holiday jokes have a very specific job. They need to be short enough to read off a cracker or a party napkin, clean enough for a table with grandparents at it, and silly enough that a six-year-old repeats them for the rest of the afternoon.
Halloween jokes carry an extra requirement: they should be spooky in theme and completely unspooky in feeling. The ghost is friendly, the skeleton is bad at something ordinary, the witch has a normal problem. Nothing here is designed to frighten a young child.
Christmas, Halloween, and Thanksgiving each have a full page of their own, linked above. Use those if you want a run on one holiday rather than a mix.
How to tell them
- Write one inside a card. It lands better than a printed cracker joke because it was chosen.
- At a party, give each child one joke to tell rather than reading them all yourself.
- Keep Halloween jokes on the friendly side for under-sevens - spooky theme, no jump scares.
- Christmas jokes are the easiest to slip into an advent calendar or a lunchbox in December.
- A joke works well as a break between courses at a long family meal.
Easy holiday jokes for ages 4-6
Short setups and instant punchlines, so a preschooler or kindergartener can remember the whole holiday joke after hearing it once.
Knock knock! Who's there? Snow.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Snow
Listener: Snow who?
Joke teller: Snow use, I forgot my key!
What do elves learn in school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: The elf-abet!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Frosted Flakes!
Why is Santa so good at karate?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he has a black belt!
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Rude-olph!
What's a snowman's favorite snack?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ice Krispie treats!
Knock knock! Who's there? Mary.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Mary.
Listener: Mary who?
Joke teller: Mary Christmas!
Why is Rudolph's nose so red?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he has a cold from flying in the snow!
What does a gingerbread man use to make his bed?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Cookie sheets!
How does a snowman get to work?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: By icicle!
Why did the ghost go to the party?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: For the boos!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because nothing ever gets under their skin!
How does a witch tell the time?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: With a witch watch!
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: I scream!
Knock knock! Who's there? Pumpkin.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Pumpkin
Listener: Pumpkin who?
Joke teller: Pumpkin up the volume, it is a Halloween party!
What do birds say on Halloween?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Trick or tweet!
Why did the zombie stay home from school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He felt rotten!
What do skeletons say before eating?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Bone appetit!
What do you call an elf who can sing?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A wrapper!
What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: This one will sleigh you!
What's a snowman's favorite lunch?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: An ice-burger!
What do snowmen eat for dinner?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Chilli!
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Sandy Claws!
Why does Santa have such a long beard?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he's bad at shaving!
What do snowmen call their mom and dad?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Mom and Popsicle!
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Boo-jeans!
What do witches put on their hair?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Scare spray!
Knock knock! Who's there? Phillip.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Phillip.
Listener: Phillip who?
Joke teller: Phillip my bag with candy!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: The trom-bone!
What dance do turkeys do at Thanksgiving?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: The gobble wobble!
Why is corn the best listener at Thanksgiving dinner?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's all ears!
How does the gravy get across the Thanksgiving table?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: On a gravy boat!
Why did the napkin get sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It was ready for a nap!
What did the pumpkin pie say to the hungry guests?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Slice to meet you!
Why did the turkey giggle all the way through the parade?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Someone kept tickling its funny feather!
Why does the ear of corn get invited to every Thanksgiving party?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It tells the corniest jokes!
Knock knock! Who's there? Yam.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Yam.
Listener: Yam who?
Joke teller: Yam so glad you came for Thanksgiving!
Knock knock! Who's there? Peas.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Peas.
Listener: Peas who?
Joke teller: Peas pass the mashed potatoes!
Holiday jokes for ages 7-9
A little more wordplay. These suit confident readers who have started noticing that words can mean two things at once.
Why can't Christmas trees sew?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: They always drop their needles!
Why does Santa go down chimneys?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it soots him!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Frostbite!
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked at the sky?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Looks like rain, dear!
What's a mummy's favorite type of music?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Wrap music!
Why did the jack-o'-lantern wear a helmet?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He wanted to be ahead of the game!
What's a monster's favorite food?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ghoul-ash!
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Squash!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A blood orange!
Why are spiders great at computers?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're always on the web!
Why is the Christmas elf always happy?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he's always elfie-steem!
What does a werewolf eat for dinner?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Nothing, they only eat at night!
Why don't mummies take vacations?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!
What's a ghost's favorite position in soccer?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ghoul-ie!
Why is pumpkin pie so popular at Thanksgiving and Halloween?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's gourd-geous!
What room does a ghost not need?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A living room!
Why were the mashed potatoes the star of Thanksgiving dinner?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they were a smash hit!
What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A gobble-in!
Why is the cranberry sauce so confident?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It believes it cran do anything!
Cleverer holiday jokes for ages 10-12
Puns and misdirection that reward a bit of thinking - good for tweens who claim they are too old for jokes.
What is a vampire's least favorite meal?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A steak dinner!
How does Dracula keep fit?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He does lots of Bite-lates!
Why did the ornament go to the hospital?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It had too many hang-ups!
Why did the leaf go to the Thanksgiving parade?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It wanted to fall in line!
Common questions
Are these Halloween jokes too scary for young children?
No. They are spooky in subject only - the ghosts, skeletons, and witches all have ordinary, silly problems. Nothing on this page is written to frighten a child.
What is a good Christmas cracker joke for kids?
Short question-and-answer jokes about snowmen and reindeer work best, because they fit on a slip of paper and need no build-up. "How does a snowman get to work? By icicle" is a reliable one.
Can I print these for a class party?
Yes. The print page will turn any selection into cards, bookmarks, or lunchbox notes on standard paper.
Do you have jokes for other holidays?
Christmas, Halloween, and Thanksgiving have full collections, and winter has its own page for snow days. We would rather run a few genuinely deep pages than a dozen with four jokes each.
More kid-friendly laughs
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