Ages 7-9
150 Jokes for 7 Year Olds (Clean and Actually Funny)
Jokes for 7, 8, and 9 year olds - the age where wordplay finally lands. Every punchline is included and every joke is safe to tell at school.
Why seven is the golden age for jokes
Something changes at around seven. A child who spent two years telling nonsense punchlines suddenly notices that "two-tired" and "too tired" sound the same - and once that clicks, wordplay becomes the funniest thing in the world. This is the age when a joke book gets read cover to cover.
It is also the age when jokes become social currency. A seven-year-old is not telling jokes at their parents any more; they are telling them at the lunch table, and they care whether it works. That makes it worth choosing jokes that are safe to tell at school and that do not need an adult to explain them.
The collection below is the middle band of our corpus: too wordy for a five-year-old, not yet as sly as the material on the tweens page. It is sorted by subject so a child can find the school jokes or animal jokes they actually want.
How to tell them
- Let them tell it badly first. Delivery improves fast at this age with practice.
- Puns are the growth area now. If one lands, offer three more.
- School jokes matter most, because school is where they will actually be told.
- Encourage them to write their own. Seven-year-olds produce genuinely funny material.
- A joke of the day at breakfast gives them something to take in with them.
School jokes for 7 year olds
Classroom-safe jokes about teachers, homework, and school supplies.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they wanted to go to high school!
Why are broken pencils pointless?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're broken pencils!
Knock knock! Who's there? Spell.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Spell
Listener: Spell who?
Joke teller: W-H-O!
Why did the book go to the hospital?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it had a broken spine!
Why did the clock get sent to detention?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it was tocking too much!
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Stop going in circles and get to the point!
What do librarians take fishing?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Bookworms!
Why did the music note go to school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To improve its scale!
Why didn't the nose make the soccer team?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it didn't get picked!
Why did the ruler fail the exam?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It couldn't measure up!
What did the science book say to the math book?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Wow, you've got problems!
Why did the report card go to the doctor?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It had too many bad marks!
Why did the geography book fail?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It was lost!
Why did the glue fail the test?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it couldn't stick to the subject!
Why did the teacher write on the window?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To make the lesson crystal clear!
Why did the scissors go to school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To get a little cutting edge education!
What did the art teacher say to the lazy student?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Draw your own conclusions!
What did the history teacher say when she retired?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: I'm history!
What did the marker say to the paper?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: I'm really drawn to you!
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: You think it's R, but it's the C!
Why did the student do multiplication on the floor?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because the teacher told him not to use tables!
Why did the teacher jump into the swimming pool?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because she wanted to test the water!
Why was the teacher so popular at the bakery?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because she was a great roll model!
What did the teacher say when the lights went out?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Well, this lesson has been very enlightening!
What is a teacher's favorite nation?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Expla-nation!
Why did the homework go to the gym?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it wanted to work out the problems!
Why did the test go to the beach?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it needed a break from all the questions!
Why was the exam so tired?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it had been up all night being written!
Why was the zombie such a good student?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it was dead-icated!
Why did the spaceship go to school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To improve its launch-guage skills!
Why did the student bring scissors to school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To cut class!
Animal and food jokes for 7 year olds
The reliable crowd-pleasers, now with enough wordplay to be worth working out.
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A Labracadabrador!
What do you call it when you have heard a cow joke before?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Deja moo!
Why are spiders great at computers?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're always on the web!
Why is pumpkin pie so popular at Thanksgiving and Halloween?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's gourd-geous!
Knock knock! Who's there? Alpaca.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Alpaca
Listener: Alpaca who?
Joke teller: Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car!
What do you call a fish without eyes?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A fsh!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
What do you call a cat who loves bowling?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: An alley cat!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A pouch potato!
Why can't a leopard hide?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's always spotted!
What type of bee can't make up its mind?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A maybe!
Why don't oysters share?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're shellfish!
What do you call a funny chicken?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A comedi-hen!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ground beef!
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A slowpoke!
Why do pandas like old movies?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're in black and white!
What is a crocodile's favorite card game?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Snap!
Why don't elephants chew gum?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: They do, they just don't stick it under desks!
Why did the fly never land on the computer?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it was afraid of the web!
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Hoo-dini!
Why are cats such good storytellers?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they always have a tall tail!
Why don't cats play cards in the jungle?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Too many cheetahs!
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A try-try-try-ceratops!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because the P is silent!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because chickens hadn't been invented yet!
How do you invite a T-Rex to lunch?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Tea, Rex?
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A bronco-saurus!
Why don't ants ever get sick?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they have little anty-bodies!
What do you call a duck that gets all A's?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A wise quacker!
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he was a fungi!
What do you call a pie that's a martial arts expert?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Kung fu pie-ting!
What kind of vegetable is angry?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A steamed carrot!
What do elves make sandwiches with?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Shortbread!
What did the salt say to the pepper?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Season's greetings!
What did the mummy tomato say to the baby tomato?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ketchup!
What do you call a happy onion?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Tears of joy!
Why did the pizza maker go broke?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he just couldn't make enough dough!
Why does everyone love the pizza cutter?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's always on a roll!
What kind of pizza do dinosaurs order?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A tricera-topping!
What did the banana do when it saw the monkey coming?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: It split!
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Looking gouda!
Why did the spaghetti go to the party?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it heard it would be pasta-tively fun!
Why did the sandwich go to the bank?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To get a little bread!
Why did the banana go to the hairdresser?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it had split ends!
Why couldn't the pony sing?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it was a little hoarse!
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they have terrible singing voices!
Which superhero is best at cooking?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Spider-Man, he's great with webs... and eggs!
Riddles and puns for 7 year olds
Seven is roughly the age a pun stops being confusing and starts being funny.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field!
What can fill a room but takes up no space?
Reveal the answer!
Answer: Light!
What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
Reveal the answer!
Answer: Your name!
What gets bigger the more you take away?
Reveal the answer!
Answer: A hole!
What do you call a dinosaur with an enormous vocabulary?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A thesaurus!
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A waist of time!
What's the best thing about a broken drum?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: You can't beat it!
Why is a stadium always cool?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's full of fans!
Why was the pillow always sleepy?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it was a little down!
What can you break without touching it?
Reveal the answer!
Answer: A promise!
More jokes for 7 to 9 year olds
Knock knock jokes, silly jokes, and holiday jokes for the same age group.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Long time no sea!
Why does Santa go down chimneys?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it soots him!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Frostbite!
What's a mummy's favorite type of music?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Wrap music!
Why don't mummies take vacations?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!
What room does a ghost not need?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A living room!
Knock knock! Who's there? Olive.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Olive
Listener: Olive who?
Joke teller: Olive you and I miss you!
Knock knock! Who's there? Harry.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Harry
Listener: Harry who?
Joke teller: Harry up and open the door!
Knock knock! Who's there? Needle.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Needle
Listener: Needle who?
Joke teller: Needle little help opening the door!
Knock knock! Who's there? Noah.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Noah
Listener: Noah who?
Joke teller: Noah good place to eat around here?
Knock knock! Who's there? Radio.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Radio
Listener: Radio who?
Joke teller: Radio not, here I come!
Knock knock! Who's there? Cash.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Cash
Listener: Cash who?
Joke teller: No thanks, I would rather have a peanut!
Knock knock! Who's there? Figs.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Figs
Listener: Figs who?
Joke teller: Figs the doorbell, I've been knocking forever!
Knock knock! Who's there? Amos.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Amos
Listener: Amos who?
Joke teller: A mosquito bit me!
Knock knock! Who's there? Yukon.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Yukon
Listener: Yukon who?
Joke teller: Yukon say that again!
Knock knock! Who's there? Adore.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Adore
Listener: Adore who?
Joke teller: Adore is between us, so please open up!
Knock knock! Who's there? Pecan.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Pecan
Listener: Pecan who?
Joke teller: Pecan somebody your own size!
Knock knock! Who's there? Cereal.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Cereal
Listener: Cereal who?
Joke teller: Cereal pleasure to meet you!
Knock knock! Who's there? Mustache.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Mustache
Listener: Mustache who?
Joke teller: Mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!
Knock knock! Who's there? Weekend.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Weekend
Listener: Weekend who?
Joke teller: Weekend do anything we want!
Knock knock! Who's there? Theodore.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Theodore
Listener: Theodore who?
Joke teller: Theodore is stuck, can you help me push?
Knock knock! Who's there? Isabel.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Isabel
Listener: Isabel who?
Joke teller: Isabel broken? I had to knock!
Knock knock! Who's there? Tuna.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Tuna
Listener: Tuna who?
Joke teller: Tuna piano and it will sound much better!
Knock knock! Who's there? Watson.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Watson
Listener: Watson who?
Joke teller: Watson television tonight?
Knock knock! Who's there? Sherwood.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Sherwood
Listener: Sherwood who?
Joke teller: Sherwood like to come inside!
Knock knock! Who's there? Havana.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Havana
Listener: Havana who?
Joke teller: Havana great time, wish you were here!
Knock knock! Who's there? Handsome.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Handsome
Listener: Handsome who?
Joke teller: Handsome popcorn over here, please!
Knock knock! Who's there? Alaska.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Alaska
Listener: Alaska who?
Joke teller: Alaska my mom if I can come over!
Knock knock! Who's there? Dwayne.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Dwayne
Listener: Dwayne who?
Joke teller: Dwayne the bathtub, it's overflowing!
Knock knock! Who's there? Yolanda.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Yolanda
Listener: Yolanda who?
Joke teller: Yolanda me a hand with this door?
Knock knock! Who's there? Ken.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Ken
Listener: Ken who?
Joke teller: Ken you help me carry all these bags?
Knock knock! Who's there? Goliath.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Goliath
Listener: Goliath who?
Joke teller: Goliath down, you look sleepy!
Knock knock! Who's there? Norma Lee.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Norma Lee
Listener: Norma Lee who?
Joke teller: Norma Lee I have my key, but today I forgot it!
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because then it would be a foot!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the belt get arrested?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: For holding up a pair of pants!
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He wanted cold hard cash!
What did the hat say to the scarf?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: You hang around, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it had a virus!
Why don't mummies have friends?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're too wrapped up in themselves!
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: To get to the body shop!
What did one volcano say to the other?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: I lava you!
What did the alien say to the garden?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Take me to your weeder!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: You'd think it's R, but their heart belongs to the C!
Why are ninjas so good at school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're outstanding at stealth-y!
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he shot the ball!
Why do flowers never drive?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: They always petal too slowly!
What did one raindrop say to the other?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Two's company, three's a cloud!
Why is the calendar so popular?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it has a lot of dates!
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Tooth-pics!
Why did the tennis player get in trouble?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because she was making too much racket!
Why did the barber win the race?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because he took a short cut!
Common questions
What jokes do 7 year olds find funny?
Wordplay, finally. Seven is roughly when a child can hold two meanings of a word at once, so puns and riddles start landing where a year earlier they would have drawn a blank.
Are these jokes suitable for 8 and 9 year olds too?
Yes. This page covers the whole 7-9 band. If a child is finding them easy, the jokes for 10 year olds page has the trickier material.
Can my child tell these at school?
Yes. Everything here is clean, avoids put-downs, and the school jokes section is written specifically to be safe to say out loud in a classroom.
How is this different from the jokes for 5 year olds page?
Each joke on this site belongs to exactly one age band, so the three age pages hold genuinely different jokes rather than the same list re-filtered. This page holds the material that needs a confident reader.
More kid-friendly laughs
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