Holiday Jokes · Halloween
26 Halloween Jokes for Kids (Clean and Funny)
Spooky-but-silly Halloween jokes for kids about ghosts, skeletons, witches, and pumpkins - funny without being frightening.
What makes these jokes work
A good Halloween joke for children is spooky in theme and completely unspooky in feeling. The ghost is friendly, the skeleton is bad at something ordinary, the witch has a perfectly normal problem. The costume is scary; the joke is not.
That distinction matters, because Halloween is the one time of year when a lot of material aimed at children is genuinely too much for the younger end of the audience. Nothing on this page is written to frighten a four-year-old.
They are ideal for classroom parties, trick-or-treat trails, and the long wait between getting into costume and being allowed out.
How to tell them
- Do the voice. A ghost joke told in a ghost voice is worth double.
- These are the best distraction for a child who is slightly nervous about Halloween.
- Write one on each treat bag for a class party.
- Skeleton and pumpkin jokes are the safest for the youngest children.
Easy halloween jokes for ages 4-6
Short setups and instant punchlines, so a preschooler or kindergartener can remember the whole halloween joke after hearing it once.
Why did the ghost go to the party?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: For the boos!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because nothing ever gets under their skin!
How does a witch tell the time?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: With a witch watch!
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: I scream!
Knock knock! Who's there? Pumpkin.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Pumpkin
Listener: Pumpkin who?
Joke teller: Pumpkin up the volume, it is a Halloween party!
What do birds say on Halloween?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Trick or tweet!
Why did the zombie stay home from school?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He felt rotten!
What do skeletons say before eating?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Bone appetit!
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Boo-jeans!
What do witches put on their hair?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Scare spray!
Knock knock! Who's there? Knock knock! Who's there? Phillip. Phillip who?.
Reveal the punchline!
Joke teller: Knock knock!
Listener: Who's there?
Joke teller: Phillip.
Listener: Phillip who?
Joke teller: Phillip my bag with candy!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: The trom-bone!
Halloween jokes for ages 7-9
A little more wordplay. These suit confident readers who have started noticing that words can mean two things at once.
What's a mummy's favorite type of music?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Wrap music!
Why did the jack-o'-lantern wear a helmet?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He wanted to be ahead of the game!
What's a monster's favorite food?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ghoul-ash!
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Squash!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A blood orange!
Why are spiders great at computers?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because they're always on the web!
What does a werewolf eat for dinner?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Nothing, they only eat at night!
Why don't mummies take vacations?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!
What's a ghost's favorite position in soccer?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Ghoul-ie!
Why is pumpkin pie so popular at Thanksgiving and Halloween?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: Because it's gourd-geous!
What room does a ghost not need?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A living room!
Cleverer halloween jokes for ages 10-12
Puns and misdirection that reward a bit of thinking - good for tweens who claim they are too old for jokes.
What is a vampire's least favorite meal?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: A steak dinner!
How does Dracula keep fit?
Reveal the punchline!
Answer: He does lots of Bite-lates!
Common questions
Are these Halloween jokes too scary for young children?
No. The ghosts, skeletons, and witches all have ordinary, silly problems. Nothing here is written to frighten a child, and there are no jump scares or gruesome punchlines.
What is the best Halloween joke for kids?
Skeleton jokes tend to win, because the punchline usually turns on a body-part word a child already finds funny, and nothing about them is actually frightening.
Can I use these for a school Halloween party?
Yes. They are clean, non-frightening, and short enough to print onto treat bags or cards using the print page.
More kid-friendly laughs
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