Puns

Time flies like an arrow...

I used to hate math...

Why are broken pencils pointless?

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

I'm talking to my calendar...

What do you think about velcro?

What's great about elevator jokes?

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

The past, present, and future walked into a room...

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Why did everyone invite the mushroom to the party?

Why was the math book sad?

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Want to hear a joke about paper?

What did the belt say to the pants?

What's a shoe's favorite joke?

Why was the battery feeling down?

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

What happened when the bakery caught fire?

Why did the invisible man turn down the job?

Why did the golfer bring extra pants?

Why did the clock go back for seconds?

Why can your nose never be 12 inches long?

I have a joke about music stuck in my head...

What's the best thing about a broken drum?

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Why did the tomato turn red?

Why was the calendar feeling down?

Why did the tree go to the dentist?

Why did the computer catch a cold?

Why did the light bulb fail the test?

What did the candle say to the birthday cake?

Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?

What's the pencil's relationship with the sharpener?

Why was the electrician always shocked?

Why is a stadium always cool?

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

Why was the broom late for work?

Why did the window do a bad job?

Why was the pillow always sleepy?